Leave out all the rest
by trispinwinchester
Summary: Dean worries that no one will care if he lives or dies. Sam tells him otherwise.


_I dreamed I was missing_

_You were so scared_

_But no one would listen_

_Cuz no one else cared_

_Where am I?_ Dean wondered as he slowly looked around at his surroundings. He seemed to be in a large mansion and he was standing on the landing on the second floor. He could lean over the railing and see all the way down to the foyer on the first floor, where there were people slowly milling around. Try as he might, he couldn't remember how he had gotten there. _And where the hell is Sammy?_ As if answering his thought, he saw Sam burst through the front door, a desperate look on his face.

"Help! You've gotta help me!" He frantically demanded, his gaze darting around the room at the people standing there. "My brother is missing! I need to find him!" Confused, Dean looked down at his brother.

"Uh Sammy, I'm right here!" he called, waving his arm to catch his attention. But nothing changed in the scene unfolding below him. He suddenly felt as if he were only watching a movie. He could see and hear what was happening, but in no way could he interact or communicate.

"Please, someone help!" Sam was still begging desperately, tears beginning to fill his eyes. He grabbed the arm of one man. "Please sir..."

"Get off of me!" the main roughly demanded. "We don't care about your brother." Even though Dean was a self declared "no chick-flick moments" guy, and generally random strangers words never bothered him, for some reason this man's words sent a shaft of pain and grief straight into his heart. _They don't care? Why? Don't I matter?_ Looking down again, he spied the grief stricken look on Sam's face. It was too much. Desperate to let his little brother know he was still there, still safe, he leaned over the banister.

"Sam! I'm here! Sam!" But his brother and the people couldn't hear. Suddenly he heard a sharp _CRACK_ and the railing supporting him gave way and he found himself falling...

_After my dreaming_

_I woke with this fear_

_What am I leaving_

_When I'm done here?_

"GAH!" Dean jerked upright in his bed, his forehead damp with sweat. In the bed next to his, Sam still slept peacefully, for which Dean was grateful. The last few weeks had been hard on both of them, and Sam needed his sleep. Besides, he would insist on talking, and Dean didn't want to do that quite yet. Flopping back on his pillows, he recalled his dream. Doing what Sam and he did for a living, they were bound to have nightmares now and then. And this dream wasn't even close to being as terrifying as some Dean had had. It was certainly just a regular dream, but for some reason, deep down, it bothered him.

_We don't care about your brother._ The words ran through his mind. He didn't think of himself as a people pleaser, in fact some days he almost went out of his way to be difficult. But in his dream, what that man has said, it was almost as if he was saying Dean didn't matter, that he was worthless. All his life, he knew he had two things that made living worthwhile. One was Sam. Keeping Sam whole and safe was his main goal in life. Second was killing all the evil sons of bitches on this planet. For his dad, killing evil things was a vendetta, a need for revenge. But for Dean, he did it to save people, protect them. Every time they ganked another monster was another person safe, and to Dean it made him feel as if his fucked up life had a point. But what if...what if in the end, no one cared? What was the point of his life then?

Sighing, he swung his legs over the side of his bed and quietly got up. He wasn't physically tired anymore, but inside he felt disheartened. Grabbing a bottle of beer, he slipped out the door. The hotel they were staying at was on the far outskirts of town, and the traffic was light. Dean leaned back against the Impala, his baby, and sipped his beer, gazing at the stars. Normally looking up to the stars gave him a feeling of awe, but tonight they just made him feel small and insignificant. What if life didn't have a meaning? If he was to die tomorrow, would anyone even care? Would the world notice he was gone? He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the hotel door opening or Sam's presence until he was right next to him.

"Dude, are you okay?" Sam asked softly, his face scrunched up in concern. Dean continued to stare at the dark sky.

"Just a dream." He finally said, avoiding looking Sam in the eye. He really hoped Sam would just leave it at that. He didn't want him to notice how worked up about it he was.

"It must have been quite a dream to get you this worked up about it." Sam observed wryly. Dean sighed and took another swallow of beer._ Well, so much for that._ Sam tried again.

"You might was to go to bed soon. You know we have that poltergeist to take care of tomorrow." Dean grunted.

"Yeah, I know." Concerned, Sam peered closer at his brother. If he didn't know better, he would almost think Dean sounded...depressed.

"You know," Sam said gently, leaning his tall frame on the Impala next to Dean. "I'm always here if you want to talk." Finally pulling his eyes away from the sky, Dean gave Sam a small, sad smile.

"Thanks Sammy." he said. "I don't wanna talk now. Maybe later, but...not now." Sam nodded his understanding, relief washing over him when Dean didn't immediately pull away, shut him out. He looked up now too, a feeling of awe overtaking him. To him the stars were beautiful reminders that there was still goodness and purity in the messed up world they lived in, and he never grew tired of looking at them. Together the brothers stood in silence, staring at the stars, lost in their own thoughts.

_So if you're asking me I want you to know..._

_Shit, shit, shit._ This was so not going as planned. The brothers had gotten to the house where the poltergeist was haunting bright and early. Their shotguns were loaded and ready and they had been all set to gank the thing when they realized it was holding two young kids captive in the house. Without a doubt Dean knew they had to get those kids to safety. Crouching behind the wall next to the door leading into the room where the poltergeist was, Dean turned to look at Sam.

"Okay..." he began, but Sam interrupted.

"I'm gonna distract it. You go get the kids."

"What? No!" Dean tried to grab Sam's arm, but it was too late. Running to the opposite side of the room from the kids, Sam got the attention of the spirit.

"Here I am!" he taunted. "Come and get me!" Cursing stupid little brothers, Dean raced toward the children and scooped them up in his arms as the poltergeist began throwing things at Sam.

"I'll be right back!" he yelled as he ran to the door.

"Hurry it up!" Sam yelled back as he dodged a small footstool. Dean rushed out the door and gently set the kids down in the front lawn.

"You say right here, okay?" Eyes wide, they nodded their assent, and Dean ran back toward the house. _You better still be okay Sammy._ Just as he was opening the door, he heard a cry of pain from his brother. Fear shot through his whole body.

"Sammy!" he yelled, bursting into the room that held his brother. Sam was pinned to the wall with a large chair, his face contorted in pain.

"Hang on Sammy!" Dean whipped up his shotgun and unloaded a round of rock salt right into the poltergeists chest. With a shrill shriek, it disappeared. Dean rushed over to Sam as he slumped to the floor, no longer pinned.

"Sammy, are you alright?" Gentle hands ghosted over Sam's body as he gasped for air. In his mind, Dean was already berating himself for allowing Sam to get hurt. It was his job to keep him safe from harm!

"Dean, I'm fine." Sam wheezed as Dean gently lifted up his shirt to assess the damage. "Might have a bruised rib or two though. What took you so long?" Smirking, Dean looked up from his examination of Sam's side. If Sam could joke, he was gonna be fine.

"Oh, you know…." he began, but never got the chance to finish his sentence. Even as he was speaking, Dean heard the sound of shattering glass. Turning, he saw everything at once. He saw that the poltergeist was back and it was angry. He saw the window it broke, but most of all he saw the sharp shards of glass it was hurtling toward Sam. Without even thinking, he threw his whole body over Sam's. _Not today h_e thought right before pain sliced through his entire being.

"Sorry Sammy." He mumbled before everything went black.

_When my time comes_

_Forget the wrong that I've done_

_Help me leave behind some_

_Reasons to be missed_

Sam didn't even remember killing the poltergeist. He didn't register anything until he was trying to stop the blood pouring out of his brothers body. Then everything was perfectly clear. He did everything he could to stop Deans blood, his life, from draining away, but deep down he knew nothing could really be done. Tenderly, he lifted Dean's broken and bleeding body and cradled him in his lap. His beautiful green eyes were open, but Sam could almost see them getting dimmer as his life slowly slipped away. They were filled with pain…but there was also something else. Sorrow and regret.

"Sorry Sammy." Dean slurred. "So many …things…. wrong. All….for nothing." Tears threatening to spill over, Sam leaned closer, gently running a hand through Dean's spiky, sweat soaked hair.

"What are you saying Dean? What's wrong?" Agitated, Dean shifted slightly in Sam's arms.

"I've…done so many...wrong things. I've failed."

"What? Failed at what?" Sam was beginning to get frantic. Struggling for breath, Dean reached up and grasped the front of Sam's shirt.

"I failed…you. I let you get hurt."

"No, Dean!" Sam interrupted, but Dean continued.

"Last night….rem'br my…dream?" Incredulous, Sam choked out.

"You want to talk about that now?" Distressed, Dean went on.

"No one….cared. And all of this…its for nothing." Suddenly Sam was beginning to understand.

"You're saying in your dream, no one cared if you lived or died?" Tears pooling in his eyes, Dean nodded.

"Sam….what if no one notices if I'm gone? What if I...didn't make a difference? What….what was the point of all those years….I spent killing things?" Grasping Deans face between his hands, Sam heart ached with love for his brother. Desperate for him to understand, to realize his importance.

"Dean, first of all, you didn't fail me. And second, you do make a difference, okay? Every day that you are alive, you make a difference. You have spent your entire life saving people from the evil in this world, and that's definitely a reason to be missed." Eyes shining a little brighter, Dean gazed up at Sam.

"You really think...so?" Sam nodded in firm affirmation.

"I know so." Smiling slightly, Sam suddenly felt Deans body slowly relaxing. Panic shot through him. "No, no, no Dean! That doesn't mean you can go! You have to stay here. With me." Pressing his forehead against Deans, Sam finally let the tears he had been holding back fall. They leaked out of his eyes and softly landed on his brothers face, mingling with the blood already there. Slowly, gently, they trickled in rivulets down Dean's cheek until they dripped off, now stained red. "Please Dean." Sam was almost begging now, but he didn't care. "You can't leave me alone."

"Sammy..." His name was a sigh, a small breath of air escaping from between Deans lips. Then he was gone.

_Don't resent me_

_And when you're feeling empty_

_Keep me in your memory_

_Leave out all the rest_

The sky was dark. There was no moon tonight, and the stars were covered by the clouds. But Sam didn't care. The stars that once gave him hope now mocked him. How can the world be good when it takes away the greatest of us all? He stood by the small stone marking his brothers final resting place. Before, all he could feel was heart crushing pain and grief, but tonight all he felt was rage. Rage at the poltergeist for taking his brother away from him. Rage at the world in general for being so fucked up. But also, deep down but slowly growing, rage at Dean. Looking up, he screamed his anger at the night sky.

"DEAN!" Resentment and fury coursed through him, and his hands clenched into fists. "You jerk, you left me! How could you be so selfish?" He felt hot tears begin to fall down his face, a familiar sensation to him in the last few days.

"I HATE YOU!" He was no longer complete. There was a hole in his chest where his heart used to be. And he was alone. Abruptly all his rage was spent, and he collapsed to his knees, sobs shuddering through his body. As he lay there on the cold ground his mind began to drift, and buried deep, a memory stirred.

_Tears slowly ran down his five year old face._

_ "Dean..." Sam sniffed. "Where's our mom? I miss her." Gently Dean lifted his small form onto his lap._

_ "I know Sam, so do I. But you know what?" Teary eyed, Sam looked up at his big brother. _

_ "What?"_

_ "Even if she's not here with us, we still have our memories. And sometimes, when you feel like you have a big hole in your heart, remembering helps." Sam's bottom lip began to tremble again._

_ "But Dean, I don't remember her!" Soothingly, Dean wiped away Sam's tears with his hand. _

_ "Thats okay Sammy. How about I tell you what I remember?" Snuggling closer to Deans skinny chest, Sam nodded and closed his eyes. Content to listen to brother and his memories as gradually the aching in his heart began to ease._

Opening his eyes, Sam looked up at the sky once again. A soft wind had blown away the clouds, and he could see the stars.

"I'm sorry Dean." he whispered. All at once, he knew without a doubt that even though he might be physically alone, his brother would always be there. In his memory, and in his heart.

_Leave out all the rest_

Song...Leave out all the rest...by Linkin Park


End file.
